666 Devil Street
Beverley Hills, California,
90210

May 16, 2011

Mr. Kleats
Soccer Coach
1234 Green Avenue,
Penticton, British Columbia
V2A 3W1


Dear Mr. Kleats:
My name is Ricky Bobby, I am the concerned father of my son Bobby. I really appreciate you volunteering to be the coach for the soccer team. A lot of parents are very thankful that you are taking time out of your day to coach. I have a few concerns that my son has told me about and I need to inform them to you.

Over the past few practices I have been told you have been arriving late. I know you might have a busy schedule because of other important things you have, and as a parent I can easily relate to that. Some of the drills you are running are a little bit too difficult for the young children and my son is having a bit of trouble learning some of them. I would highly appreciate it if you would take a few minutes to help out my son and his team mates a little more. Also, during some of the games I have noticed that you have been talking negatively to some of the players about how winning is important. These kids are only ten years old and they are only out on the field to have fun and have a good time.

I would like to make a few suggestions. Maybe you should think about hiring an assistant coach so he can start practices on time and teach the players a few drills that are age appropriate. This is only a house league so the players probably don't mind if they win or not. It would be better if talked to them in a more positive manner and just let them play.

Thank you for your time to read this letter of concern. I hope you and the players develope as a strong team together.

Sincerely,



Ricky Bobby

Homework is a Students Favorite Thing to do.

The fine students that attend the incomparable high school, Princess Margaret Secondary, always get there homework handed in on time. Dating back one hundred years ago, not one single scholar has handed in an assignment, essay, or piece of writing late. This is probably because all the students have such wonderful schedules they lay out every day when they get home from school. The average student spends around two hours to complete their homework. I stole one students schedule for investigation and I have to agree, with that schedule, it would be impossible for a student not to complete his or her homework.

30 minutes contemplating whether to do their homework or not.
1 second to make up their mind that they will actually do something.
2 minutes to pull out a pencil and a piece of paper.
10 minutes thinking of something to write about.
20 minutes glaring at their peers boring status updates on facebook.
10 minutes of alternating looking in the fridge and cupboards for something to eat.
10 minutes making their meal and then eating it.
5 minutes to write a poor introduction paragraph.
15 minutes staring blankly at the piece of paper not knowing what to write next.
3 minutes complaining to their mom that the assignment is stupid and the teacher didn't teach them anything.
10 minutes listening to their mom lecture them about that they need to do well in school or their life will suck.
15 minutes quickly finishing the assignment and hoping the teacher won't count it for marks.
In the remaining time left, the student will make some more food, go watch Family Guy or Two and a Half Men, then go pass out some nights in their bed and some nights on the couch. It's astonishing that with so little time, a student can get so much of their homework done and hand it in the following day.

It really baffles me that teachers are not satisfied with a students half ass job on an assignment. They handed all their assignments in on time so why not give them full marks. It makes perfect sense to do so. For example, this little piece of writing I just wrote, I completed in about a half hour and the important thing is, it was handed in on time. So, Mr. Van Camp, if I do not recieve full marks for completing this "fun" assignment, I will be severely dissappointed.

She Walks In Beauty
by George Gordon, Lord Byron

She walks in Beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which Heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express,
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

Many poetic devices are used through out this poem. The first line of the poem is a simile. The girl is walking in beauty "like" the night is showing a simile. "The smiles that win" is a great example of personification because the word win is giving the smile a human like characterisitc. Alliteration is used a couple times in this poem. "Cloudless climes and starry skies" is alliteration because there is a repition of letters at the beginning of two words. "All that's best of dark and bright" is a perfect example of an oxymoron because usually something can't be dark and bright at the same time. Lastly, "the tints that glow", is used as a metaphor. This poetic device is decribing the tints as if they are glowing.

The Bickersons Last Fight

Jamal and Delilah Bickerson have been married for almost fifteen years. Unfortunately, their marriage is coming to an end because they are constantly fighting everyday.

“Did you have a good day at work?” asks Delilah.

“It was alright” replies Jamal.

Delilah knew that her husband didn’t recognize that she got her hair done.

“I was at the hairdresser today and dyed my hair.” Delilah stated.

“That’s cool.” Jamal answered with no interest at all.

“You never notice anything I do for myself anymore. It’s like you don’t even care! You have been very insensitive towards me.”

Delilah is starting to get a little upset.

“Sorry,” retorted Jamal, “it’s not that I’m insensitive, I just don’t give a crap.”

“Oh that makes me feel a lot better.” Delilah argued back. She sank into her bed and started to shed a few tears.

“Don’t cry, Delilah”

“Oh, so you do care?”

“No,” Jamal answered with a laugh, “I don’t want you to get the bed wet.”

“How could I ever attract such a nice man?” She snapped filled with sarcasm. “In the morning I’m packing my bags and moving out.”

Jamal quickly explained, “You’ll get over it tomorrow. I can almost guarantee it.”

“And if I don’t?” she snapped back.

“Then I will be the worlds luckiest man.”

Jamal placed his newspaper and glasses neatly on his nightstand, pulled up his blanket, closed his eyes, and then fell asleep. On the other hand, Delilah stared at him in disgust for a few minutes and then shot out if bed. She walked over to her dresser, opened the drawer, and grabbed something. She then wandered back to her bed and held up the object above her head. It was a knife.

“I’m sorry” she mumbled softly.

That will be the last fight ‘The Bickersons’ will ever have.

Bullying at Princess Margaret

Bullying is defined as a hostile activity marked by an imbalance of power, intent to harm, or a threat of aggression. When bullying goes from bad to worse, it may lead to a feeling of terror on the part of the individual being bullied. Most people have been a target of bullying at some point in their lives. They may have also been the person who was doing the bullying or, most certainly, seen someone being bullied. It’s hurtful and harmful and is not a normal part of growing up.

Bullying is not uncommon at high school but it is definitely overrated in some schools across Canada. Just because one school had a bad incident, it doesn't make every other school the same. At Princess Margaret Secondary, the amount of bullying is next to none. People at Maggie (Princess Margaret Secondary) do have their own cliques and only hangout with a certain amount and a certain group of friends outside of school, but during class and throughout the halls everyone is talking and laughing with each other having a great time. Even if there was a bullying incident, students at Maggie would make sure that it would come to a complete stop and wouldn’t let it happen again.

Our reporters interviewed a couple students at Maggie and weren’t too surprised with what they had to say. A bunch of them mentioned that “Maggie has very little bullying,” and even one student said that “the amount of calories, protein, and carbohydrates you get by drinking water is like the amount of bullying you get at our school. None.”

Is bullying really that bad how the media portrays it to be? Or should we let the students in high schools, just like Princess Margaret Secondary, across Canada decide that?

College Application

Let me tell you a little something about myself. My real name is Big A.C. I was born and raised in the exotic state of Rhode Island by a pack of wolves. I can speak Italian in French and Spanish in German. I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. My catch phrase is “stay thirsty my friends”. The only thing I eat and that I have only eaten is deep fried Twinkies. I find it baffling that the planet earth is named earth. I was born in 1862 and I am only 17 years old. I have 4,562,891 middle names. All my friends call me inhuman but I prefer to be called diabolical. In my many past lives I was Jesus Christ, Leonardo Di Vinci, and John Lennon. I am a babe magnet, literally. I make dynamite out of peanuts. I only sneeze with my eyes open and I can lick my own elbow. I am a world champion in the game of tag. I killed a man only using my thumb and my orbital bone. I am the definition of the word illustrious. I built a life size replica of Candlestick Park using cards and now I have nowhere to put it. Scouting reports already say that I will be drafted 1^st overall in the NHL, MLB, NFL, CFL, and NBA in the year 2025.

I convinced the population of China that chocolate milk is a fluid from heaven. I make Chuck Norris look like the weakest person in the world. I decide when it snows. I have my own currency. Coffee doesn't wake me up, it puts me to sleep. I wrestle tuna fish on my spare time. I fist pump so hard, I wasn't allowed to be on the show Jersey Shore. I stated at the UN that the next world war will be WWV because it will be so intense that it will skip WWIII and WWIV. I can turn my hands into a blender. I can be at two places at once. I don't walk dogs, dogs walk me. I can grow a moustache in 6 seconds flat. The band Billy Talent is considering changing their name to Andrew Talent. When I jump into a pool I don't get wet, the water gets Andrew Carterd.

There is one last thing I would like to do though. Go to college.

Feels Just Like A Death Sentence

Imagine yourself in the middle of the Caribbean on a white sandy beach with the ocean

breeze lightly blowing through your hair, the scent of the big blue salty body of water in

front of you and the juicy burgers sizzling on a bar-b-q, an ice cold beer in your hand, and

not a worry in the world. I know. It sounds pretty nice. Well let me tell you something.

Grade 12 is the complete opposite of that. It’s not like a nice vacation where you can

relax, it’s like walking through a court room being innocent about something and

knowing your getting sentenced 25 to life. Your sitting in class and teachers are

furnishing you with work, your peers are befuddling you so you can’t get your

assignments completed  and handed in on time, all your emotions have gone astray and

right out the door. You feel dead and you feel like you want to just give up. All your

thinking about is getting out of the dark, horrendous, bone-chilling place they

call high school. It may feel like the end of your life to you, and not feel like your

loosening up on a recliner in the Caribbean, but really, grade 12 is the beginning to the

start of your greatest accomplishments.